I'm 24 Today
Hay Daizee Loves!
Alright, so I have been depressed the last few weeks because so much change is happening in my life right now and ya girl is just plain scared and extremely anxious. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am human. With me, it’s so easy to focus on what’s NOT there and what’s NOT happening. Forgetting to be grateful for what IS there and what IS happening. Truth be told, I am blessed BEYOND measure and I know I don’t deserve it. I can be honest with you all and admit that I am not where I WANT to be or where I THOUGHT I would be at 24 years old (How am I 24 already?). However, I can also ACKNOWLEDGE and THANK God that I am not where I was.
I can’t help but reflect on the last few years. My early 20s were ridiculously TRAGIC to me. Like, just WHY God? But I realize that the devil was just trying to take me out because he knew what was coming… and I did not. He came for my mind, my heart, my womb, everything. BUT GOD! At 24 years old, I have experienced enough to be able to look back and see how so many “bad things” have turned out for MY GOOD. Everything that TRIED to break me, made me so much STRONGER. #KallMeLittleJosephine I am truly AMAZED at how things have turned out. So, I can continue to move forward TRUSTING that everything else I go through will also be for MY GOOD... even when I cant see how.
Y’ all know how people say having their babies saved them? That is EXACTLY how I feel about Pretty Daizee. This IS my baby and it IS saving me. God birthed something so beautiful out of so much pain. I do write to share with others, but what I get from sharing with you all is HEALING for me. Most of the time, I need to read FOR MYSELF what I wrote for others. Pretty Daizee challenges me IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE, pushes me to grow IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE, holds me accountable IN EVERY AREA OF MY LIFE, and enables me to walk PURPOSEFULLY… in every area of my life.
Pretty Daizee is not about the trivial things for me (which is probably why I am so bad at them lol). I don’t have a large social following, I don’t take bomb pictures. But I have been the girl who stumbled across a seemingly random post, blog, YouTube video (thank you Holy Spirit) and was given HOPE when I was ready to give up. MY LIFE was on the other side of someone else’s obedience. So, I do not take this lightly. I know what it is like to not want to be here, and I never want someone else to feel like that. So, if anything I write can help to pull someone out of such a dark feeling… I know God will send them to the words His spirit gives me to share.
I told God He could use me for whatever He wanted to a long time ago. Deciding to start Pretty Daizee was really just me ACCEPTING the calling on my life. (I was out here doing a whole Jonah. Lol like why is you running, child?) I’m not even 100% sure of what all this entails but at least I said YES, and I will continue to say YES so that I can grow into MY calling.
Fundamentally, I will always be the same Megan. I am growing and changing but God will always come first. I may wander off, but I always hear Him calling my heart back HOME to Him. I am so incredibly thankful for that. I have most definitely been rooted and grounded. Storms come (and will continue to come), toss me around, and have me feeling like I am breaking, but my foundation is STRONG.
With all of that being said, I am STILL figuring so many things out, and today on my 24th birthday, I am telling myself that not 100% knowing is MORE THAN OKAY and everything will turn out MORE THAN OKAY. I am just now discovering my true and authentic self. I am just now embarking on a spiritual journey that is literally SETTING MY SOUL ON FIRE. Me and Jesus been cool, but my relationship with Him is strengthening and deepening as each year goes by. It is enabling me to love myself even more. My journey to wholeness and completeness is off to a beautiful start. I am aligning. I am ascending. I am transcending. I am transforming. I am just beginning. I know that God was there at my beginning, He will be at my end, and He will never leave me on this journey.
Thank you God.
Thank you Daizee Loves for reading.
Love ALWAYS,
Megan