"New Age" Deception

Hay Daizee Loves!

If you caught my Facebook post Sunday night, you know that I felt a blog post coming. A blog post concerning this “new age” stuff. So, let’s talk about it. Keep reading…

Over the last 10 days, I have stumbled across a few “New Age to Jesus” testimony videos on YouTube. I’m like “Ooh, what’s new age?” HAHAHA little did I know. It is crazy because this is something I was doing over a year ago and I am just now realizing what I was exposing myself to and how much it truly affected me.

Storytime:

When I was in Miami (both times in May) I was trying to go have a psychic reading done and a picture of my aura taken. Bae was like “No ma’am. Those people in there are off. That’s weird”. My friends and sister were like “You can go in there by yourself. I am not stepping foot in there. No telling what you’ll bring back with you”. Then, when I told my parents about it, they FORBID me from trying anything like that or mentioning it again. If literally everyone in my life was screaming “NO”… why was something in me screaming “Yes!!! Do it! Do it!” My parents literally said, “What would possess you to want to do that?” Literally possessed y’ all. This is just one recent example of how my spirit man is still a little off.

New Age:

WHAT IS NEW AGE? It’s a movement that apparently even some churches are joining in. It is basically an umbrella term. For me, it was like a spiritual buffet (s/o to BrightNBoldy for the metaphor). It’s a little taste of a bunch of religions. You make your plate how you want it. There is no true doctrine or belief system. It is what you make it to be.  With that being said, I am going to give you a list of the things I had on my plate. A list of things that I wanted to learn about and experiment with. BUT FIRST, let’s talk about how I found myself in that place.

Vulnerable to Deception

In my reflection since my recent decision to get back to Jesus, I have realized that a few things actually threw my faith into a vulnerable state. The devil saw me struggling, and caught me slipping. I don’t want to give into too much detail as to what events put me in this vulnerable state. However, I will say that ultimately, I felt like I was not in control of my own life… and I am a control freak (Jezebel spirit). I did not feel fulfilled at all. On top of that, I was still trying to figure out how to love myself properly. I felt like I needed to learn myself more.  WHO AM I? The devil knew this, and preyed on it. These areas of weakness in my faith are what led me down the wrong path.

The Deception

Okay, so what aspects of the new age movement caught my eye? What did I have on my spiritual plate? It really all started with this law of attraction (LOA) video I watched. It made me feel sooooo good, and like I had the power to create the life I wanted for myself. I felt knowledgeable and aware. I can’t really explain the feeling but I started to crave it. From there, listening to various people discuss LOA, led to multiple belief systems and practices making their way into my life. They peeked my interest. I love learning, so it was easy to sit there and learn about all of these things. Especially when it made me feel like I could “master life”.  

I was HEAVY into the Ancient Kemet/Egyptian/Nile River Beliefs. And when I say HEAVY, I do mean HEAVY because I was so stuck on “the slave owner gave us this religion”. This is what ultimately planted seeds of doubt into my heart and mind concerning what I have always grown up believing. Then, I was looking into astrology and numbers. I DON’T EVEN BELIEVE IN OTHER PLANETS SO JUST WHY IS ASTROLOGY EVEN ON MY LIST? *inserts eye roll* I was also looking into chakras, frequency/vibrations, soulmates, and indigo children. Reading up on why I was so clairvoyant and how I could tap into my spiritual gifts and train to become stronger in them. I was looking at essentially witchcraft. I was really out here believing I was a “good witch” LIKE HOW MEGAN. Sadly, it is so evident in my post “Daisy’s Birthday”. It is easy to figure out what I was trying to say without actually saying it and sounding completely ridiculous. I was just perverting my spiritual gifts from the Holy Spirit. In that blog post, I even talk about how my new spiritual journey was scaring me. RED FLAG!! First of all Meg, why are you on a spiritual journey that is scaring you? Rereading it, it’s like multiple versions of myself writing. And I had THE NERVE to post it and make it about Daisy. It’s getting deleted because it is very misleading and not of God.   

Scary Stuff

Let me tell y’ all, I really thought I was tapping into my inner spiritual being. I really thought my ancestors were revealing my truth to me. I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS AWAKENING MY SPIRITUAL POWERS. Do you hear how crazy that sounds? I was tapping in alright… into demonic power. I was basically channeling demons. Inviting them to interact with me and show me my abilities outside of JESUS CHRIST….

It wasn’t scary stuff. It was TERRIFYING. I had the audacity to blame all the creepy stuff going on in my apartment on the people who lived there before me. No Meg, it’s YOU. It was all of the things I was watching and studying. It was all of the things I was meditating on. It was all of that seeking my inner self.

The stuff going on in the apartment got so bad that I was too paranoid to sleep at night. I was literally being visited, attacked, tormented, WHATEVER… on a regular basis. Sleep paralysis was normal. Feeling things and seeing things that shouldn’t be there was sadly normal. Who is looking at me? Who is touching me? Who is yelling my name and no one is here with me? It got to the point that my sister didn’t even like spending the night with me because she’d feel weird and scared and would experience sleep paralysis. It got to the point that I had to start sleeping with my cross necklace on at night because I knew the devil was too comfortable coming around me. I just couldn’t figure out why. I didn’t see that it was me inviting him in.

So, even in that, we see that my spirit still recognized the power of Jesus, and I am thankful for that.  There would be nights that I’d just be up crying pleading the blood of Jesus over my life and that apartment.

Did I Leave Jesus?

Short answer: Ultimately… yes, I did leave Jesus. It wasn’t intentional but I did slip into some mess. I wasn’t purposefully out here trying to entertain the devil and play with demons. It all breaks my heart really because it was never my intention to expose myself to all of this and allow myself to mislead people. I was just trying to seek the truth... my truth. I was just looking for a way to feel like I was in control of what was happening in my life. I was looking for a way to feel happier. And I should have looked to Jesus and the Word of God.

It’s all so deceiving. I am telling y ’all the devil is so smooth with it. It’s a couple of truths that can be supported by some scripture BUT it is like someone took it and ran with it in the most selfish and secular direction. Yeah, I felt “woke”. I felt like I was vibrating so much higher than everyone else. I felt like I knew the real truth. I felt special when I was watching that stuff, BUT I was still ultimately depressed (suicidal thoughts depressed… out of nowhere), super anxious, scared, no peace, and STILL unfulfilled.

Reflection/Now

Things got real selfish real quick. Like I said the new age movement has no solid doctrine or belief. It’s about SELF. Self-love quickly turns into self-empowerment, which turns into self-made, self-proclaimed god and savior. There is nothing and no one that holds you accountable. No conviction to actually be a good person and to worry about others. It’s literally all self. Ensuring that YOU are surrounded by good vibes only. Ensuring that YOU manifest the life that YOU want for YOURSELF as if YOU created YOURSELF and gave YOURSELF purpose. It’s really just so smooth and easy to fall into.

The really crazy part is, I did not see anything wrong with it. I never stopped telling people that I believed in the Holy Trinity and that Jesus died for us and rose on the third day. But it was like I was remixing my beliefs to where I could still claim Jesus but also claim all of these other things. BUT THESE OTHER THINGS DO NOT CLAIM JESUS CHRIST. I could really cry right now because I didn’t see it at the time. 

When I tell y’ all I was ADDICTED to this stuff! I would be teaching my precious babies in children’s church how much God loves them for sending Jesus; and how much Jesus loves us because he died for us. AND YET I was running home to learn more about witchcraft and Ancient Egypt. None of which have anything to do with MY God or my savior Jesus Christ. So heartbreaking to admit.

I see that I need Jesus more than ever right now. The world is crazy. This wishy washy, lukewarm, “living in the gray area” version of Christianity has got to stop. The devil preys on that because he knows we have one foot in the world and one foot in the church. I want more than anything for my walk to be SOLID. IT IS TIME. I am tired of having highs and lows in my walk. I need a consistent, unwavering relationship with Jesus. I pray that God helps my unbelief and strengthens my faith.

I am sooooo thankful that Jesus will never leave me and I am so thankful that He is BIGGER and STRONGER than anything the devil tries. I am also really thankful for the people in my life who hold me accountable. Can you imagine how lost in the sauce I’d be if they didn’t correct me? Especially Trey! (I hope you are reading this). Trey NEVER failed to try to gently correct me and speak scriptures over me. He spoke to the Jesus in me, even when the demons were basically cursing him out telling him to back off. That sounds so bananas but it’s true.   

Here’s a couple of scriptures Trey always reminded me of in the moments we discussed this.

Luke 6:24

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

John 14:6

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I love y’ all! Don’t slip. The streets is watching and the devil is waiting. #TeamJesus

LOVE Always,

Megan